Dictionaries

Yes- that's right. This post is about dictionaries-- particularly of the cell phone persuasion.

I don't know about all you folks out there but I use, well let's say....different, words when I'm texting people. (Heck, I use different words in my normal conversation- what other 18 year old do you know that flounces around throwing out terms like 'tete-a-tete' and 'diffident' and 'scintillating'?) But I take especial pleasure in using random and sometimes off the wall words while texting- I think it part because so many people shorten their texting words. 2 for to, R instead of are, etc....

Over the last couple of days I've noticed something very odd about my cell phone dictionary. You see in my old cell phone I'd already added all of my random words that weren't in the dictionary so I had forgotten about how odd the people who decide what words go into the phones and what words don't are. (In fact I had had this conversation with a sister of mine sometime last February)

But I recently got a new phone and I've been texting with it (...obviously...) and I just have to say- what were these Cell Phone Dictionary People thinking?! My cell phones has words in it such as  'totalitarianism'  'obsequious'  'penultimate'  'conscienceless'  'promiscuous' and  'apocryphal'  (I know, at this point you're probably thinking "What on earth kind of conversations is she HAVING with people? I'm not gonna lie- you get some pretty random and typically hilarious responses when you text me...at least if I like you enough to show off the truly hilarious side of my personality, which, well I have to be pretty secure with you to do that. I don't willingly look like a fool in front of just ANYONE)  Anyways, back on to the conversation at hand, I'm not really sure what happened with that little side tangent...

So my phone has all of these amazing, but admittedly less used by the common human words in the dictionary right? Well you know what words it doesn't have? Words like 'ouch'  'snob' (I personally think that's because the people who put in the dictionary didn't want a word that so effeciently described them in there...) 'chatterbox'  or  'howdy' I mean really?! What kind of people are these?

I'm thinking that when texting got such a huge boost in the economy and became so popular and these texting dictionary guys got raises they started to get a little snooty. I mean can't you just see it? A bunch of middle-aged guys sitting in a room together, with their little pipes and glasses that are perched on the edge of their noses, relaxing in their lounging robes-- chatting together in those little English accents.

"Oh no Siegfried- we simply MUST add 'capitulation'! My studies show that that is the word that is all the rage among 16 year old girls right now!"
"Oh- you're absolutely right Devon old chap! And while we're at it we can't forget about 'mesmerizing' because that is how boys are describing those little gals right now. That's the new 'in' word."
"Hmm, Harry- do you think perchance we should add some of those dreadful slang words? Should we put in a 'wowzers' or 'anywho'?"
*guffaw* "Oh Devon don't make me laugh! Simply NO ONE uses those words these days! They have simply been put out of commission!"

Ok, well maybe that's not how it goes, but I mean seriously here people what is going on with these dictionaries? Ah ok, I'm done. That was my little rant for the day. I hope you all enjoyed it as much as I did (because I'm not gonna lie- I had fun writing that conversation :-D)  Have a good weekend!