Shooting!

So, as a part of his true amazingness and dedication to my learning of outdoor things, my brother in law, Lance, brought up a bunch of his guns with him for Thanksgiving.

And on Thanksgiving I got to go shooting! Honest to goodness, just three or so hours shooting things--clay pigeons, paper targets, helium balloons, random shrubbery, and it was so much fun! There was a 30-30, a 22, a shotgun, a pistol, and I just had a blast!

There is something so satisfying about correctly aiming and shooting and actually hitting your target. Something so calming to know that if need ever came I could defend myself fairly accurately.

And it's nice to know that I have a brother-in-law who cares so much about my well-being. Who was willing to take the time out of his Thanksgiving to take me, and some others in my family, up to the mountains and teach us basic gun safefy, aiming, and shooting.

But enough about that- Thanksgiving is over and the Christmas season has finally begun! Now if only I could get some snow to prove my point...

And I have only 18 days left before I graduate school, I think I'm going to have a completel countdown going day by day here. It's odd how it can see so long and yet so short at the same time! On one side I look at it and say "Wow! 18 days! That's less than three weeks and my high school career is officially over and done!" but on the other hand being in the classes and going day by day 18 days is a century and a half.

Haha! I used to think I was so special, but I'm getting to know more and more people that graduated early. I mean heck, I'll be the third in my family to do so.

And I can't wait!

December is going to be an absolutely amazing month!

24 Days!

Really, this is amazing! Not only do I basically have the day off of school (meaning that I have school, and the teachers are toying with the idea of making us learn, but in the end they're not doing it because none of us are paying attention anyway) but we're having this huge Turkey lunch and my school, in an astonishing burst of charity, is giving us an hour for lunch! Well, technically it's 55 minutes, but then we have 5 minutes to get to class, so it's an hour. So classes are short, lunch is good, and it's my last day of school this week! (Not to mention that we got fresh cinamon rolls in seminary this morning.) Does life get better? I submit that it does not!

But that's not really what I wanted to talk about, that was more just a sidebar of excitement I had to throw in because I just found out about it and it's exciting!

What I really wanted to talk about is that there are only 24 days left in my life before I graduate high school. Before I'm done forever! And if we're going by actual days of school there are only 16!!! I am so excited! I can't wait to graduate, move on, go to college, grow up (to a certain extent anyway), and live life!

But at the same token I'm starting to feel some portions of that sadness--I look around at the people and things I'll be missing. I'll miss my English teachers little quirks, I'll miss Mr. Stohel's sarcastic comments (not that I won't get them at home). I'll miss my seminary class but most especially my seminary teacher.

I'm excited to move on, but I'm leaving so much behind. I mean, I'll come back and I'll visit every now and then and probably much sooner than I expect I won't miss any of it. I'll just be done and never really come back- it'll be a corner in my memory that was a good and fun part of my life, but definately over.

I'm just curious as to how soon that will come, because right now I'm starting to feel small pangs of sadness.

Not really, truly, deeply sad- but small pangs are definately there.

And yet I'm so excited to leave! I've been counting down since there were 42 school days and who knows how many actual days! I'm so excited to be done with the politics and some of the silly rules, and the dress code and the whole "young, immature, silly" air that people assume you have and are when you're a part of high school. I'm excited to being able to be taken more seriously and be more adultish.

Ah, I can't wait!

Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is almost here and I am SO excited!!! In less than 5 days I will get together with around 15 members of my family and stuff myself until I feel bloated.

There's going to be games and fun and family and I just love this holiday so much!

I'm going to go up with my nieces and nephew and feed the ducks, I'll teach them how to draw a very, um, special looking bird while the food is cooking like my older sister did for me. I'll get to spend part of the day in the kitchen surrounded by warm, aromatic, smells and my loving sisters and mother.

And of course there is the fact that I get the day off of work which is always fun! :)

The first of my family coming from out of town arrived this morning, pulling into our driveway just as I was pulling out to go to school so unfortunately I couldn't stop and say hi. I couldn't give them hugs and love, but maybe I'll get out of school early so I can go home and spend time with them before I go to work.

I have another sister coming in tomorrow night as well. This means that out of my 8 older brothers and sisters and their respective families I will have 5 with me on Thanksgiving!

Oh I'm just so excited!

Really I don't understand why this holiday gets looked over so much, it's got just as much of a good feeling about it as Christmas. This holiday is surrounded by love, warmth, happiness and good- at least for me it is.

No school to worry about, no work to worry about, just me, my family, and the food. I guess the main thing to worry about is making sure I don't burn anything I'm assigned to make! :)

Ah, I know it's early, but a Happy Thanksgiving to all! I hope you all enjoy yours as much as I'm planning on enjoying mine!

Christmas Music

Now, I'm one of those people who feels very strongly that Thanksgiving gets a bum rap--being in between two such holidays as Halloween and Christmas it gets looked over quite often. And I think Thanksgiving is AMAZING! You get family, food, fun, games, time off of school and work, it's a pretty darn good time of the year!

And yet all too often you have Halloween, Halloween, Halloween and then boom! on November 1st it's all about Christmas, Christmas, Christmas. And one of the main ways that this takes place is in the form of Christmas music. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love Christmas music, I listen to it in July but I just can't feel right listening to it during November- it almost feels like I'm breaking faith with Thanksgiving to listen to Christmas music until the Friday after Thanksgiving.

So because I am normally so anti-Christmas music until that Friday after Thanksgiving I find it hard to understand why I am having such a hard time staying away from it this year. All the other years of my life I could withstand and wait for the Christmas music but this year I just seem to be drawn to it for some reason. I haven't yet gotten to the point of actually listening to the CD's, but I pull them out and look and them longingly and if a Christmas song comes on the radio I make no move to change it.

I can't help but feel traitor, but this year especially there is something that is pulling me towards the Christmas music. I've always loved how upbeat, optimistic, happy, and loving Christmas music is and I love that feeling it creates when you listen to it! I love how it makes you feel like being kinder towards all your fellow man, how it makes you feel like you want to go and just give something to someone, I love how Christmas music brings out the best in you.

And who knows, maybe I just need that feeling more this year, but there has to be someway to recreate it without listening to Christmas music, I just need to find it because I refuse to become more traitor to Thanksgiving.

I guess I'll try to stay strong...but ooh how I'm waiting for November 28th!

A Bad Day with a Suprise Twist

I really didn't have a very good day. It started out with waking up early after a short, rather tossy-turny-sleepless night and trying to sleep on my fathers floor in his classroom which is NOT very comfortable. It then continued with my school behaving like a group of Nazi's, pulling students out of class left and right so I didn't actually learn anything in school today, so even going was a waste of time.

After school I was obligated to go and hang out with a group of friends at a loud plaace and go bowling. Not that I don't like bowling, I really do, but I am terrible at it. And it was just one of those days where you really don't need to be reminded that you're bad at something.

After that I went up to my work to check my next weeks schedule and ended up working for around an hour or so due to the absolutely CRAZY rush that happened--again, not generally something that really bothers me, but today it was just like the straw that broke the camels back.

No matter what really happened or what I tried to do everything seemed like a downer, nothing seemed right or fun.

And then as I was walking home from work, at around 10:30 at night I saw a little old lady trying to walk to her car with a huge bag of groceries in the Smiths parking lot. I quickly ran over to her and said, "here, let me get that for you"

She smiled a huge smile, patted me on the cheek (which normally I despise but for some reason it didn't bother me tonight) and said, "Thank you so much dearie. It gladdens my heart to know that there are still youth out there like you."

And I walked home with a slight smile on my face- the world was starting to look a little less gray.

I walked in the door, still musing about the lady when my sister said, "Bonnie I got something for you" and to my great suprise and delight she pointed to a rose surrounded by ferns and babies breath. I absolutely adore flowers and I LOVE getting them! It made me so happy!

I found myself humming a little tune (that one from Enchanted) as I put them into a vase and set them on the table--I couldn't help but admire how absolutely lovely they looked.

So, all in all it ended up being quite a nice day, and life is still just as great as it should be. :)

Forgiveness

Forgiveness is a crazy funny thing-- I know I know, they all say that forgiveness is divine and I'm sure it is but that unfortunately does not make it any easier to forgive and forget.

At least for me it doesn't- I'm guessing most males just don't have that problem. Recently someone I know did something that really hurt me, and made me very angry, all in one blow and I just couldn't see myself forgiving him for a long time. I was so angry! Well, I some him a short time later and when he asked for my forgiveness he looked so sorry that I couldn't just say "no I don't forgive you" even though in my heart I hadn't. So I forgave him outloud and within two seconds everything was just fine with us again in his mind while I was still struggling with the mixed desire of wanting to cry and wanting to punch him in his face.

Even now, two days later when I have forgiven him I still haven't fogotten it- not by a long shot. I just keep thinking about it, over and over and over. I really can't seem to help myself. I mean, how do people do this? How do they just go and move on with life when something has really hurt them?

Life is funny- I'd darn well better be growing from this, because if I found out that I went through this stage of my life for nothing? I would not be a happy gal.

You know, it's just that stage where everything seems ten times worse than it really is. Everyone is ten times more the jerk, you like this guy ten times more than you've ever liked anyone else, math is ten times harder than it used to be yada yada yada. And even though I don't want to fall into this trap sometimes it's like I just can't help it. I want to be a little dramatic, but at the same time it just seems so unutterably juvenile that I gag at the thought of being just like 'all those other girls'.

I can't wait until I'm out of high school, and after that I can't wait until I'm 18....

Losing or Gaining?

Did you ever have a best friend that was truly your best friend? She did everything with you, helped you, encouraged you, laughed at you, cried with you, everything! And you did the same for her and it was wonderful!

And then she got a boyfriend, a real one. And now you're faced with a dilemma- are you losing your best friend? Or gaining a new friend?

I want to say I'm gaining a new friend- and I did! But in some reality and to some extent I definately lost a portion of my best friend. She always seems to be going, going, going now- going to work, going to school, or going to hang out with her boyfriend. And unfortunately when she's not, I invariable am. And when neither of us are her boyfriend inevitably comes with us.

We promised each other that we wouldn't grow apart, no matter where we lived, what happened in our lives, or how we grew up. We promised that we'd always stay friends-I guess we just never really figured on life changing our friendship.

We'll always be dear to each other, and I'd say we definately have a good few years left of close, close ties, but having this happen just made me wonder how long it'll be before life changes our ways and what is really going to happen.

Burn Baby Burn

So yesterday at work something tragic occured...and yes it was partly my fault. I was lighting the water heater at Jakes Over the Top and (contrary to anything Bryn said) I was even doing in the right way. I had tried to light it previously and it failed, but I hadn't given it enough time to air out so the gas was still rampant in the little room where the pilot light is. (Yes, I finally figured out why it blew up- it wasn't because it was already lit, it wasn't because I was using a napkin instead of the lighter- it was because I had tried to do it previously and hasn't given it enough time before I tried again- that's why).

So I went, tried to light it...and it exploded. Literally, flames everywhere. My hair was massacred (and unfortunately now looks quite funny) my eyelashes are half of their normal length, my eyebrows look quite...interesting and my hand is all red but thankfully not blistered, just burned. Which still hurts by the way, hurts ALOT.

I just find this blatantly unfair because, as a child, I was the only one who NEVER played with fire. I never touched the stove, never played with matches, heck I never even did the whole 'burning-the-ants-with-the-magnifying-glass' thing! I had never ever been burned before in my life and let me tell you- I don't like it. It does not feel good, it hurts, and the hurt doesn't go away.

You know, I wasn't even playing with fire technically, I was simply doing my job as a shift leader and trying to insure that we had hot water. (Which I succeeded at by the way, I definately DID light the pilot light.) And I got burned.

So how is it that I got burned? Does this seem a little unfair to anyone else? Just a little?

First Day-again

This is the third time I've actually tried to start a blog--and the first time it's actually worked. All the other times Time just ran out, or my computer went spastic. Funny how here in English 1010 it finally worked (at least it's an English class, so I don't feel too bad about doing this and not my English research).

I actually am even trying this because Jossi made it look so fun, and then my sister did and Bryn so I decided I just better get on the bandwagon. So- we'll give this a shot and just see how it goes. :)