Monday, March 21, 2011

Monday's Memory: Sisters

I am lucky enough in my life to have not just one sister, but five. I am even luckier that I am on amazing terms with all five of them and I consider them not merely my sisters but five of my dearest friends and confidantes.

With 4 of the 5 I have pretty much always been on good terms. I mean we are certainly closer now than we were in the past, but we've pretty much always gotten along. But one of them....well let's just say there was a time in the past when we weren't super close. In fact we kinda sorta hated each other. And that's who I'd like to dedicate this post to.

Pamela is the sister that closest to me in age. We're separated by my brother Thom in the line of family children, but she's the closest sister age wise- she's a mere 3 years older than me. If you want to get really technical it's only 2 years and 10 months :-D And for so many years we couldn't stand the sight of each other. We both lived in the basement, sharing bunk beds, or dressers, or just space in general and we fought constantly. I'm sure we drove our mother to her wits end more than once. We simply could NOT get along.

Then one summer, while I was up in Washington my room got transferred from the basement up to the den. There were enough kids gone out of the house that Pam could have her own room and I could have my own room. It was the summer before my 14th birthday and the summer before her 17th birthday. And something magical happened. It seemed that almost as soon as we no longer had to share anything we became best friends.

One of the many classic, pure "Pam" pictures that I've taken and/or seen taken over the last 5 years

 We started doing everything together. Well, lots of things. She worked all the time, I was in school. Then she was in college, I was in college, we both still worked. She had a boyfriend who created some demands on her time, etc.... Needless to say we were busy but we still found time to do things together. We were the only girls left at home and we decided to stick together. We decided that we needed to become real sisters and begin to love and appreciate the other for who they were.

We started sharing willingly (I can't even count the number of clothes we've swapped and/or 'borrowed' for extended periods of time from each other. Mostly shoes though seeing as how we're not the same size...) We started doing things for each other without even thinking twice. I was the only person who could get Pam to do something domestic around the house. She became one of the VERY few people who could get me to stop reading a book I was really enjoying to go and spend time with her. (I'm serious, I get intense when I'm reading a good story, most people have just learned to leave me alone...) Together we became some of the best customers that Redbox has ever had. We had so many midnight exploits up at Smiths. And so many curious glances drawn to us because we were laughing hysterically at something that only we saw, or that only we understood.

In November of 2009 Pam got her mission call to the Santa Rosa, California Spanish speaking mission. She left on December 30th 2009. I was so excited for her! She has been planning on serving a mission since she was about 12, and she was so excited to get her call! She was so excited to go! And we were both so mutually sad about leaving each other, but we counted the blessing that she was only in California so our communication would be pretty constant and assured.

Pam with one of her companions, Hermana Martinez.

And she has loved her mission. She's loved it more than almost anything she's ever done in her life. She doesn't actually want to acknowledge that it's got to come to an end eventually.

Her mission had done great things to and for her! She willingly cooks now, and makes her bed daily. She has grown in her capacity to love people and I can just tell that she's been changing and maturing so much (not that she wasn't mature before she left, she totally was- she's just more so now)

Making some sort of Spanish tasting food that she's assured me is delicious and that I will get made for me something this fall I'm sure

When she gets back we've talked extensively of all the things we'll do. I've been making lists while she's been gone, of all the movies and books and music and such that she needs to be caught up on. We're planning a marathon that will last about a week to catch up on everything. She's asked me to consider the idea of moving out of home and getting an apartment together (which would of course be more expensive than living at home, but we would have some really rocking times)

The main reason I wrote this somewhat disoriented blog post is because I know that Pam is having some hard times right now. Nothing serious, she's just a bit down and nothing seems to be going right. We've jokingly titled me her 'support group' because I keep in SUCH constant communication with her. And I know that she can't read this blog post. But I'm sure that she'll somehow feel the incredible amounts of love that I've poured into the post, and the amounts that I'll pour into the letter that I'm about to go and write her. And that's why I dedicate this post to Pam, one of my fabulous sisters (and yes, I am completely aware that I will now have to dedicate posts to my other 4 sisters to keep things fair and even :-P) I love her more than words can say and I know she'll pull through, with her natural strength and tenacity and the strength the Lord is giving her because she is doing His work. I adore and admire her with all my heart.

5 comments:

Constantine said...

This post was so sweet!! :) I don't think I have ever met Pam, but she sounds awesome! I think I could honestly label my sister Natalie as my best friend. There were times throughout our childhood that we didn't get along so well together, but we love each other nonetheless. When she went off the college, I missed her so much! We had shared a room for seventeen years and suddenly we weren't anymore! It was so hard for me!
Thanks for sharing this Bonnie! :) I'm glad that Pam has a good "support" group to turn to! You are simply awesome!!

Love, Jossi

Mrs. Jaybird said...

Sisters are the best. One of my sisters (well . . . multiple, but not at the same times) struggled at some point, and it was so hard for me to see them go through all those rough patches. My heart ached for them. I felt so bad watching them experience these things, but I realized that there is no better a support group than your SISTERS!!!! I only have three, but dangit, I love them so much! Part of me hopes my daughter can have at least three sisters and that my sons will grow to learn to watch out for those sisters.

You're a good sister too, Bonnie :)

Stephanie said...

Fair Smair. It's your blog and you don't need to worry about keeping it 'even'. I'd be surprised if any or your other sisters needed you to write here to know that you love them just as much as you love Pam. The changing dynamic of familial relationships is an incredible, generally great though occasionally sad thing. I loved reading a brief biography of your relationship. There is nothing in life like having this kind of relationship with a sister. (Even if you have to 'adopt' one to get it ;) - not that you did just for those not lucky enough to be born with one) Love you and love reading this post!

SuZan said...

Sisters are wonderful. I have 3 sisters but they were more like distant aunts because they were married with children by the time I was born. However, I am undaunted. I have filled the need for close sisters with my daughters and daughter-in-law. They are absolutely the BEST!

Anonymous said...

Bonnie, it was beautifully written. I am so happy for you that things changed (as Steph said, the ever changing familial relationships) and that you two had to opportunity to become so close.